Ancient english-american proverb
Does a fart smell in the woods? - Confusedius
The quizzical nature of the Junior Brain Trust.
Auggie the brain child lapped up his protein paste like a dog. “I’m exercising my right as a supreme power to do whatever the hell I want!” He exclaimed. Mellonok looked toward him with an irritated gaze. “Please do not use the word ‘Hell’, Augisterelle. Fallacies no longer hold any weight in the context of a swear.” He propelled forward on his vector...
They forgot about Wheezy
Wheezy the Vampire, a smoker in his former life, had a terrible disadvantage when stalking his prey. Everywhere he lurked, even in the shadows, the townsfolk knew that he was waiting to strike. He couldn’t even float within a couple meters from his potential victims. Like clockwork, they would shout, “Wheezy, get out of here!” Until one day, it dawned on him. “I need to...
Two people standing on the roof of a building.
The view is beautiful up here. You were right. And take in this air. It’s so refreshing. Ahhhhh… bird farts. Love it.
I found an unrelated sister site. →
There isn’t much content. But there is a mission!
My pro baseball dreams may come true.
Curse these shins. I wish there was a way for my legs to not give out once I’ve sprinted 85 feet! But didn’t you hear? That is all you have to sprint now to be safe! You just have to stumble for the last five feet! Proof that I have what it takes! **Click this ESPN footage of me**
Great quote from The Good, the Bad and the Ugly
“There’s a snake in my boot!” - Ugly
Post Farter's day blues.
Hope every father enjoyed their toilet humor cards. Happy Farter’s day.
I'm a hardcore gamer.
Nintendo told me that I’m gonna be Wii-ing all over you U. I love it. You gonna get it Jon?
No cellphone day today.
Today is the day we forget our cellphones at home. Whoopsie!
I could hear the hinges squeak when I logged in. I gotta use this thing more. But I need to get back into the right mindset. I will come up with a gimmick (Pfft, like we haven’t heard that before)!! Don’t want to waste that money given to Go Daddy for my URL. I need to re-up soon too. Here, have a picture to tide you over until I get back into writing blogs!!!
3 pickles equals 1 pun.
A tall, handsome pickle watches a short, fat pickle tell a terrible joke. But the group that gathered round all bust out laughing. Once the crowd disbands from the comedian pickle, the good-looking one asks, “I can never get a chuckle with that awful joke, how did you get them to react like that?” “Oh that’s easy. It’s all in the dillivery.” ...
The pickles that I had for lunch were dillicious.
I cracked the code on why Charlie Sheen is the way...
Ramon looked at his son. “Happy Birthday Carlos! Take your pick.” Carlos looked away from his father and glanced down the line of prostitutes standing before him. “I think I like the brunette one,” he said and smiled. “Alright then, I’ll wait in the car. Have fun.” Carlos looked back at his father. “Thanks Dad,” he shouted as he watched...
Free Ticket for Menomena. Can’t go tonight, hit me up if you want it. Gotta get it from me though.
You need two to regress, Mirror Man!
Chapter 3 Mirror Man sat in front of his vanity. He removed his hood and began to brush his hair. “One, two, three, four, five,” he hummed the rest. After he placed the brush back into it’s respectful drawer, he leaned towards his reflection. “What makes a man? Could it be his weapon of choice? Is it his nemesis who shapes...
A scene I remember from the Emmys last night.
Woody Harrelson entered from the left of the stage. He greeted the audience with a nod. “Good evening. Most of you may not like me anymore, and I believe it’s for a role I played this year. Yes, I was the man who gave that little girl a dead goldfish.” He looked quite comfortable in his tuxedo despite his situation. “I believe that the role gave me some opportunities as an...
Pif! Paf! Pof!
The harvest was bountiful this year. Snap looked over the orchard baskets in the back of his pickup and exclaimed. “My my, this year will definitely please the masses. I bet we can run production for at least an extra two months.” Pop dropped the last basket in the corner of the truck bed and wiped his brow. “Most definitely, Snap. I do say, W.K. would be clicking his heels if...
The Art of the Flip
I bet that if I had Titanus, I could get $600 for all three! Last night, I was talking shop with the boys. I fear that it has become a buyer’s market. What once was just a collecting hobby had eventually turned into a part time job. I was making scratch. In one weekend, I could afford a PC upgrade. Another one would afford me a clothes shopping spree. I was living the high life. Jet...
I understanding guy
Lil Bro texted me some photo he snapped, but it was too small so I slapped that SD card into my PC! Forgot this picture was sitting on my phone. Yes I know, for shame Matt! You aren’t supposed to forget! You lying son of a bitch! Lazy ass Bert! This cat couldn’t even be bothered. What a loaf! Get out of that planter box, cat! You ain’t no flower! Are you confused? In all...
The Warden keeps banging his metal prosthetic leg...
A plan to escape and see a film on Thursday might be happening. Too much time has passed by and I fear that I won’t get to see the movie in theaters. Maybe the old man will be up for seeing it too? Dave’s ambiguous summation of the film was no help in assessing my viewing urgency. I will forget that I even asked! Devo is a really great band. Chris is right for being a huge fan. I...
Obscure Reference, Boy!
So I went over to Dave’s place not that long ago, and he was watching the classic documentary American Movie. It was about half way through the film, but my timing seemed impeccable. “We got to get these scarecrows on a killer slant” came out of Mark Borchardt’s mouth at that very moment. I immediately told Dave that there was a song by the noise rock band Liars titled...